How to love mistakes and failures

 

How to draw conclusions correctly?

We often plan something, set goals, want something, but we do not always realize this plan, achieve goals and get where we want.

And the job is not in you at all.

I also plan, I set goals, I want something and I also don't always do it on time. The whole thing is that our brain overestimates the speed of realization of something in the short term and underestimates in the long run.

The problem is not that we do not achieve the goals on time or do not achieve what we want on time. The problem is how we treat this "failure." I put the word "failure" in quotes because it's not a real failure. It's just that our brain considers it a failure.

And millions of people have become disillusioned with themselves and their goals because such "failures" have happened to them in life. One of the most important habits I have acquired in life is the habit of perceiving mistakes and failures correctly.

I used to be frustrated too, upset just like you.

We all often make mistakes in life.

The problem with mistakes is not in the mistakes themselves, but in how we treat them and what we do with them.

If someone scolded you, the problem is not that they did it, the problem is how you perceived it.

All problems occur because of the misperception of events, not because of the events themselves.

And now that I have gained experience of correct perception, I want to share this experience with you so that you can also treat situations correctly.

To better understand what I am talking about, I will show it with my own example.

On Saturday, my coach and I played tennis for a few hours against another coach and his student.

This was our 4th fight!

And we lost again ...

Yes, I made a lot of mistakes.

But the amazing thing is what I said to myself after the defeat.

I was very happy with how I perceived it.

I really wanted to win and I did my best for it, but it didn't happen.

Here are some phrases I said to myself mentally after the loss:

- Good for you! A little more and we would win! Now we lost 7-6, and the previous times it was 6-2 and 5-1 .... You have improved a lot!

- Yes. You played very poorly next to the net. He missed almost all the balls. If he played better next to the net, we would have won.

- You have to train the game to the net and pass together with the coach! And you will win!

- In general, everything was wonderful! Good for you! Proud of you!

Now let's analyze these thoughts:

Thought 1. Recognition of achievements and great progress, praise

Thought 2. Understanding the reasons for failure

Thought 3. Understanding what to do to eliminate the cause

Thought 4. Conclusion

Note, please, that the first and last thought are positive and creative! They increase my love for myself and my confidence.

The second thought is the reason. Cause, fact, clear and logical in the complete absence of criticism and negative emotions about yourself or situations.

Third thought - this is a clear and logical plan for the near future to eliminate the causes that led to the "failure".

Fourth thought - emotional conclusion.

Thoughts of praise are emotional!

The thoughts of analysis are logical!

It is the emotional thoughts that have tremendous power!

In my case, the emotional thoughts are positive.

Logical thoughts have a slightly negative connotation (but they are logical, so they have little destructive power).

In humans, the opposite happens: thoughts of analysis are emotional, which creates strong destruction, and thoughts of praise are either tossed or logical, and therefore have little power.

Here is a common situation: a person is very upset, scolds himself, but somewhere deep down he realizes that he did everything well, even though it did not work out.

Why can you be happy and rejoice when something is wrong or when you have made a mistake?

- the universe knows and understands better. It leads you to your goal in the best way.

- you have become wiser. You have gained experience and understanding

- you grew up as a person

- You understand that it is worth improving positive thinking.

Summary: make sure that the positive emotions as a result of each situation (positive or negative) significantly exceed the negative emotions!

Ideally, positive emotions should be 80% or more, and negative 20% or less.